There’s no such thing as an accidental fart. I should know, I’m an expert on the subject. I’ve been holding in farts for 35 years (give or take a month or two), and I’ve never let one out when I couldn’t (anonymous, silent but violent’s notwithstanding). So please don’t tell me your fart was accidental – and yes I’ve claimed this before, but I knew then what I know now, the accidental fart is a myth, a legend, a unicorn. It does not exist.